Thursday, September 4, 2014

Freedom From Compulsion

There was a time when you sat the day out, pondering on the next fix. Wondering where all the people who once cared about have gone. Imagining the feeling you are suppose to feel instead of really feeling them. Trying to force your tears when your intellect knows you should cry. Driven by compulsion and obsession. In a spiral of self-deceit and social destruction. Killing every ounce of humanity within you just to chase a momentary romance with a chemical. A chemical that eats you, eats your thoughts, eats your flesh. Eats eats eats. A compulsive parasite you give into and you become.

Don't despair. There is hope for you. Unless you believe it. Believe in miracles. Unless you break away from your narrow pessimistic view of the world, created by your self-obsession, forever you shall walk blind. Towards the edge, towards death. Or worse, towards insanity. Away from Love, away from salvation.

Don't despair. Believe. A Higher Power can restore you. Can give you your freedom. Can give you yourself. There is freedom from compulsion. And it starts with brutal honesty to your self. The day there is no greater high than living life for others becomes your passion. It would be a day of great realization. A great truth. Which has always been there, hidden underneath the layers of filth and hatred and anger, created by your chemical companion. Created to lead you astray from life.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Labyrinth of Deciet

Inside everyone lives a devil. And inside everyone there shall be part of god. Which of these personalities that we wish to use depends on our situations. Therefore our good and evil sides comes out according to our choice.

If we see a loved one in trouble, which of the personalities come out? Is it the devil or god's? It is God's trait that we must protect the weak, and to punish the culprits who have caused this pain you turn into the devil's part of you.

So Good and Evil are two sides of the same coin. If you were not evil you will decay in goodness. If you are evil all the way, it shall be fire that is your end. And yet god was smart. He created man - half evil and half good. Dropped them into a labyrinth with a weapon that cuts both ways. And it is called choice.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012

Tripping in 20th Century Goa

A lot of drugs. Heroin. Coke. Charas. MDMA. Ecstasy, LSD. You name it. They got it.

For me the past three weeks have been a roller coaster ride with strangers becoming friends, weird people yet good people. The scamming groups are around, you should know when to say Bye or say fuck off, either woks. Chillum crazy Italians to Coke-E-Coke Canadian and a random encounter with a guy from Sweden who crushed MDMA and offered to me us.

Life can be confusing. It can be boring. It can be repetitive. I've realized all that I seek is peace now. A sense of belonging, a spiritual reckoning. Travelling teaches you many things, but the biggest thing you learn is about yourself.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

What's There To Say When Life Tells It All?

You choose your own way when your faith is lost in the way the way the world is teaching you.

We are definitely not meant to understand all this that's happening around us. So are we all suppose to be incomprehensible? The 69 dollar question: Why are we alive?

To follow path of a teaching handed down from generation to generation?

Or is our goal in life to be a success, get fame or make loads of money? To be cool?

Or is there a nirvana hiding somewhere there? I do not know.

What I do know is all this love as well as the shit that's been thrown at us is neither bad nor good. People die everyday, yet it's not me. Do I need to feel guilty because I don't cherish my life with all my heart and soul?

I tracked through mud and water 3km jn a far away village in Tamil Nadu called Poombarai. People guided me through the moss filled paths and dung trodden route to a place where a 'tourist' like mecan find a place to sleep.

The last boy who guided me got all indignant when I tried to offer him 10 Rupees. Nobody wanted a penny for guiding me. In a lonely hut on the route a lady offered me water which reminded me how a mother would. It was beautiful experience., human compassion at it's most basic. Just simplicity.
 A leech got me, found it a day after the track. It seems they suck the toxins in the blood. Mine looked pretty small, guess the toxins killed it too quickly,
Coming through, make way!

But it all started in a whole different way. At a place the world knows as Kodaikanal in Tamil Nadu, India.

Someone recently called me an agnostic. And I thought I was an atheist. I had to find out the difference. Well my English vocabulary shouldn't be the reason you are reading this right now. :)

VATTAKANAL - Heaven turned into Hell

I would like to tell a story, a story about a man who forgot what the father of his nation did. And Gandhi's photo is on every Indian Rupee notes. It's to remind Indians by looking at the money what he did for them. Or is it to make people greedy and let it be forgotten how this nation became independent.

This particular man wants the rich tourists to come here. He doesn't want a hippie looking "Indian" tourist wearing a Nepalese woolen cap. The only thing this man did not realize was that it was the hippies and the ganja smoking, mushroom eating people that allowed him to feed his child milk. Helped them grow from an abandoned little village to a tourist thriving destination.

My Travel Advice: Avoid Vattakanal at all costs. They want it to be like "Ooty" (A commercially spoiled hill station in India).

Poombarai To Mannavannur village

It's been one of the wierdest trips I've ever taken in my life. And I don't mean psychedelic. Losing my bank card, been broke and lost many a times while I had to walk since no buses where around.

From Poombarai village I tracked on mud, water, cow dung and sinking my brand new Woodland shoe completely into these boggy places. Everyone in the village kept telling me it's a 3km track to reach there, a cottage place called Club India. I thought why not? And the track was amazing. Complete strangers guiding you through the way, wanting nothing in return.

 A cow handler giving me directions
 Another guy showing me a cool cave-like entrance
Finally, Club India

Next Day: Munnuvunnur

A trip that still confuses me.Met a man, old and wily. With a wounded leg we traveled after he offered to be my guide and shaman, made me eat "god's flesh" as a welcome treat to as i visited his house.

We got a ride finally from my guides friend as he was passing.

Tourist season -  Buses No

Hiked to a distant village called Palani where the infamous Idukki weed was available. (Apprently).

Me and my guide/shaman Andhi Chaandhi

But it was fun neverthless.

Finally we did a Tri-Ride on a motor bike to Munnuvunnur because of no buses that day. It was a nice ride. A bike is the best way to enjoy the views and nature of the mountains at this region of India

Chilling at my room at Munnuvunnur. Going to be there after the rains in June :D

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Silver Lining

Look around you, don't complain. Be Grateful.

Behind every dark cloud there's a silver lining. No matter how hard the struggle there would be an opportunity to grow as a better human being.

Hope is a strong emotion. Never give up.